From Vigilance to Trust: The Courage to Relax

It’s the constant scanning.

The bracing for impact.

The belief that safety lies in always being ready.

This hyper-awareness, while adaptive in moments of danger, becomes a prison when the threat is no longer present.

For those of us shaped by trauma, vigilance can feel like survival and even safety.

But what if vigilance isn’t the only way to feel safe?

What if safety is found not in tightening but in softening?

What if the most revolutionary act you could take is to relax and trust?

"I must always be vigilant" is a story written by the body—a survival loop forged in moments where letting your guard down wasn’t an option.

It’s the tense shoulders, the shallow breath, the clenched jaw that whispers, “Stay ready; it’s not safe to let go.”

This hypervigilance, while protective, costs us connection, ease, and joy.

It keeps us locked in the past, unable to fully inhabit the present.

It’s exhausting.

Shifting from “I must always be vigilant” to “I can relax and trust” isn’t about forcing yourself to feel safe.

It’s about gently teaching your body that safety is available now.

It’s about creating spaces where you can soften, even if only for a moment.

Relaxation is not weakness—it’s courage.

Trust is not naivety—it’s rebellion.

How to Begin the Shift

1. Anchor in the Present:
   Notice what is true right now. Are you safe in this moment? Place your hand on your chest and remind yourself: “I am here. I am safe. I can let go.”

2. Start Small:
   Trust doesn’t happen all at once. Begin with small acts of letting go—a deep breath, unclenching your jaw, softening your hands. Each moment of relaxation teaches your body that it’s okay to release the grip.

3. Engage in Pleasure:
   Pleasure is a powerful antidote to vigilance. Whether it’s savoring a warm drink, feeling the sun on your skin, or moving your body, pleasure signals to your nervous system: It’s safe to be here. It’s safe to feel.

4. Reaffirm Your Worth:
   Vigilance often arises from the belief that you must earn safety or love.

5. Remind yourself: “I am worthy of peace and ease, simply because I exist.”

The Courage to Relax

Relaxing doesn’t mean the world is suddenly free of danger. It means you no longer let the fear of what might happen rob you of the life unfolding right now.

Trust is not about controlling the future—it’s about reclaiming the present.

This shift from vigilance to trust is not just healing—it’s liberation. It’s choosing to believe that you are safe enough, worthy enough, and strong enough to let go.

So take a deep breath. Let your shoulders drop. Feel the earth beneath your feet.

You don’t have to be on high alert anymore.

You can relax.
You can trust.
You are safe.