Discover the Power of Self-Compassion: A Transformative Somatic Practice for Loving Yourself from the Inside Out

I'll never forget being in triangle pose - sweating and fighting and working hard to maintain the posture... rigidity spreading from my jaw down to my toes - in a hot Vinyasa class taught by the wonderful Connie Lozano, and she said, 

"If we don't have much compassion for ourselves, how much can we extend compassion for others."

And in that moment, I sighed, and my body softened. And I felt what "self-compassion" could feel like in my body. My unique journey met with softness and tenderness. Somatic self-love - I felt love towards myself, in triangle pose - fighting to make it work in the heat.

For the briefest second, the "fight against" left my body, but I was still present in my body! (inner conflict and fighting against were coping mechanisms that I used for many years to stay alive and return to my body after disassociating as a child). I felt sweet relief. In that softening release, I was free.

The journey toward self-compassion is a deeply personal and transformative experience. As I discovered in Connie Lozano's hot Vinyasa class, experiencing somatic self-love offers a reprieve from the constant battle against ourselves and allows us to connect with our bodies more lovingly and gently.

When we embody self-compassion (part of somatic self-love), we create a tender space within ourselves that acknowledges our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and unique experiences without judgment. This nurturing environment allows us to soften the rigid boundaries we've established and permits us to be our authentic selves.

Embodying self-compassion can feel like a warm embrace, wrapping us in a blanket of understanding and care. It can bring a sense of calm and reassurance to our minds, allowing us to release the tension and resistance we've been holding onto for so long. In this state, we grow and develop a harmonious relationship with our bodies and minds.

What Does the Research Say?

Research supports the idea that embodied self-compassion is essential for overall well-being:

• Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.
  • In this paper, Kristin Neff argues that self-compassion, as opposed to self-esteem, is a more effective and sustainable way to develop a positive self-concept. Self-compassion involves treating ourselves kindly, recognizing our common humanity, and maintaining a balanced awareness of our emotions.
• Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
  • This study suggests that participating in a mindful self-compassion program can significantly increase self-compassion, mindfulness, and well-being while reducing anxiety, depression, and stress.

Embodying self-compassion helps us create an internal environment that nurtures growth and fosters resilience. As my excellent teacher, Connie Lozano pointed out, we can more easily extend compassion to others when we develop compassion for ourselves. Recognizing our shared humanity enables us to connect with others, creating stronger bonds and enriching our relationships.

By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and accepting our imperfections, we can cultivate self-compassion and experience the freedom of releasing the inner conflict we've held onto for so long. As we continue to practice self-compassion, we can transform our lives and the lives of those around us, creating a more compassionate, understanding, and empathetic world.

 Somatic Practice for Embodying Self-Compassion

This somatic practice is designed to help you connect with your body, cultivate self-compassion, and foster a loving relationship with yourself. Find a quiet, comfortable space where you can be free from distractions and follow the steps below.

1. Find a comfortable position: Begin by finding a comfortable seated or lying position. Make any adjustments needed to ensure your body feels supported and relaxed.
2. Take a few deep breaths: Close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Allow your breath to become your anchor, focusing your attention on the sensations of your breath as it moves in and out of your body.
3. Body scan: Slowly bring your awareness to different parts of your body. Start at the top of your head and move downward, noticing any sensations or areas of tension. As you scan your body, offer kindness and compassion to each area, acknowledging the hard work and support it provides you.
4. Place your hands on your heart: Gently place one or both hands on your heart, feeling the warmth and connection between your hands and your chest. Focus on your heartbeat and the natural rhythm of your breath.
5. Set an intention for self-compassion: Silently or out loud, set an intention to cultivate self-compassion in your life. You might say something like, "May I be kind to myself" or "I choose to treat myself with compassion and understanding."
6. Visualize self-compassion: Imagine a warm, loving light emanating from your heart and filling your entire body. Allow this light to soften any areas of tension, discomfort, or resistance. With each breath, let the light expand, enveloping your body in a cocoon of self-compassion.
7. Recite self-compassion affirmations: Silently or out loud, repeat affirmations that resonate with you, such as "I am worthy of love and kindness," "I accept myself as I am," or "I am gentle with myself and my imperfections." Feel the words' impact on your body as you recite them, allowing them to further deepen your connection to self-compassion.
8. Offer gratitude to your body: Take a moment to express gratitude for your body and all it does for you. Thank your body for its strength, resilience, and ability to heal.
9. Slowly return to the present moment: Gradually bring your awareness back to the present moment, noticing the sensations of your breath as you inhale and exhale. Gently wiggle your fingers and toes, and when you feel ready, open your eyes.
10. Integrate the practice into your daily life: To maintain the benefits of this somatic practice, try incorporating it into your daily routine or whenever you need a reminder to treat yourself with compassion and kindness.

By regularly practicing this somatic exercise, you can deepen your connection to self-compassion, fostering a more loving and nurturing relationship with yourself.