Keep Choosing You, Over and Over Again

Choosing yourself over and over again, especially in the context of healing from trauma, is important for several reasons:

  1. It promotes self-worth and self-respect: When you prioritize your own needs and well-being, you are sending a message to yourself that you are worthy of care and attention. This can help build self-esteem and promote self-respect.
  2. It helps establish healthy boundaries: Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is an important part of healing from trauma. By choosing yourself, you are establishing boundaries that protect your emotional and physical safety, which can help you feel more secure and in control.
  3. It promotes feeling self-love alive in your body: Choosing yourself means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engaging in self-care practices such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with supportive friends and family can help reduce feelings of stress.
  4. It can help break patterns of codependency and people-pleasing: Individuals with unresolved trauma may struggle with codependency or people-pleasing behaviors, which can be harmful to their emotional well-being. By choosing yourself, you are breaking these patterns and learning to prioritize your own needs.

Overall, choosing yourself over and over again can help promote healing from trauma by promoting self-worth, healthy boundaries, self-care, and breaking patterns of codependency and people-pleasing. It's important to work with a therapist or mental health professional to develop strategies for choosing yourself and learning to prioritize your own needs in a healthy and sustainable way.

Some Practices in Choosing Yourself First

Learning to prioritize your own needs in a healthy and sustainable way can take time and practice, but here are some strategies that can help:

  1. Identify your needs: Start by identifying your own needs and wants. This can involve asking yourself questions such as "What makes me happy?" or "What do I need to feel safe and secure?" Getting clear on your needs can help you make decisions that are aligned with your values and priorities.
  2. Set boundaries: Setting boundaries involves communicating your needs and limits to others. This can involve saying "no" to requests that don't align with your priorities, or setting limits around how much time and energy you devote to others.
  3. Practice self-care: Engaging in activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being is an important part of prioritizing your own needs. This can involve getting enough rest, eating well, engaging in regular exercise, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
  4. Develop a support network: Building relationships with people who are supportive and understanding can be an important part of prioritizing your own needs. This can involve reaching out to friends and family, joining a support group, or working with a therapist or mental health professional.
  5. Practice self-compassion: Learning to treat yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would a friend, can help you develop a greater sense of self-worth and self-acceptance. This can involve learning to talk to yourself in a gentle and supportive way, and learning to accept yourself as you are.

Remember that prioritizing your own needs is not selfish, but rather an important part of taking care of yourself and promoting healing from trauma. 

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