Embracing Grief and Trauma Through Somatic Self-Love

“Every one of us must do this. We must learn how to work with the grief in our lives. Begin with a friend or two and speak honestly to the heartaches you carry. These may be very personal sorrows, or they may extend to the daily losses that we witness in the news. If you feel comfortable doing so, begin with a moment where you and your friends together focus your intention on your purpose. Otherwise, simply gather the courage to speak from your heart, and let the others know that you are feeling sad and carrying grief in your body. What I have discovered in grief rituals over many years is that we feel relief when we finally are able to acknowledge our pain with one another. We can also share our grief with a tree or express it through music. The main thing is to welcome it and grant it a place in our lives. When we do, we become larger, and we can sense our intimate bond with all creation.” ~ Francis Weller, The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Francis Weller’s profound insight into the nature of grief reminds us that it is not merely an emotion to be overcome, but a sacred energy that, when honored, connects us more deeply to the world and to the essence of who we are. In our grief and trauma, there lies a potential for profound transformation and healing. This transformation begins in the body—where grief and trauma are not just felt but stored.

Grief and Trauma as Stored Energy

Our bodies remember. Every loss imprints itself into our muscles, our nerves, and our very cells. Modern science and ancient wisdom alike teach us that unresolved grief and trauma can manifest as chronic pain, anxiety, fatigue, and myriad other health issues. They become trapped energies within our physical form, creating blockages that disturb our emotional equilibrium and physical health.

The Somatic Self-Love Approach to Releasing These Energies

Somatic self-love is an approach that starts with compassionate attention to the body’s signals. It invites us to engage mindfully with our physical sensations, recognizing them as messages that, when decoded, can lead to the release of these trapped energies. This practice involves not only awareness but also an active participation in rituals that help us connect with and learn from the energies stored within our bodies.

A Profound Grief Circle Ritual

Inspired by the communal and sacred practices discussed in “The Circle Way,” the following grief circle ritual is designed to facilitate the gentle release of these energies. This ritual can be a powerful step in your healing journey:

1. Preparation:

• Create a sacred space that feels safe and comforting. This might be a quiet room in your home, a spot in nature, or any place where you feel grounded.
• Gather objects that symbolize healing and connection for you. These might include photographs, natural objects, or artifacts that hold personal significance.

2. Grounding Presence:

• Begin by grounding yourself in the present moment through your senses. Light a candle to engage your sight, play soft music to soothe your hearing, or hold a comforting object to connect through touch.
• Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Notice where in your body you feel tension or heaviness and breathe into these spaces.

3. Engaging with Grief:

• Openly acknowledge the grief you carry. Speak it aloud if you are comfortable, or simply hold it in your awareness.
• Recognize that this grief, though painful, is a profound indicator of your capacity to love and connect.

4. Movement and Expression:

• Introduce gentle movement to allow the energy to flow. This could be as simple as stretching, walking slowly in your space, or more expressive movements like dance.
• Visualize the grief loosening its grip in your body, transforming from a stuck energy to one that moves and evolves.

5. Artistic Reflection:

• Use art or journaling to give form to your grief. Draw, paint, write, or craft something that represents what you’re feeling.
• This act is both a witnessing and an externalization of your inner experience.

6. Closing the Ritual:

• Reflect on any shifts in your body or emotional state. Acknowledge and thank yourself for the courage to engage deeply with your grief.
• Conclude the ritual by blowing out the candle, symbolizing the end of this sacred time.

7. Continuing Care:

• Engage in comforting and grounding activities. These might include reading, meditating, or spending time in nature. Continue to hydrate and nourish your body gently.

Conclusion

This Grief Circle Ritual is a potent method for accessing and being with the trapped energies of grief and trauma. By accepting and integrating these energies, we deepen our connection to the collective human experience.

Grief, when embraced with intention and care, becomes not just a source of pain, but a profound catalyst for personal growth and expanded consciousness.

This journey through grief and trauma is not merely about recovery but about embracing the full spectrum of our human experience, thereby enriching our lives with greater empathy and understanding. Remember, this path of self-love is not linear but a compassionate spiral, inviting us deeper into our inner worlds with each turn.