“Emotional neglect, alone, causes children to abandon themselves and to give up on the formation of a self. They do so to preserve an illusion of connection with the parent and to protect themselves from the danger of losing that tenuous connection. This typically requires a great deal of self-abdication, e.g., the forfeiture of self-esteem, self-confidence, self-care, self-interest, and self-protection.”

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker

Emotional neglect during childhood can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s sense of self and self-worth. Children who experience emotional neglect often abandon themselves in order to maintain a connection with their caregivers, sacrificing essential aspects of their identity and well-being in the process. Somatic self-love can be a powerful tool in addressing and healing the repercussions of this form of neglect, allowing individuals to reconnect with their authentic selves and transform their relationship with self-care and self-compassion.

Fostering Self-Care and Self-Interest

Emotional neglect can lead to a pattern of self-abdication, which includes neglecting one’s own needs and desires. Incorporating somatic self-love practices into your daily routine reestablishes a sense of self-care and self-interest. By focusing on activities that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being, you are actively engaging in self-care and cultivating a sense of self-interest that may have been previously suppressed.

Establishing Self-Protection and Boundaries

Children who experience emotional neglect often forfeit self-protection to maintain a connection with their caregivers. As adults, this can manifest as difficulty in setting healthy boundaries and asserting one’s needs in relationships. Somatic self-love practices, such as mindful movement and deep breathing exercises, can help to develop a greater sense of connection with your body and its needs, empowering you to establish healthier boundaries and prioritize self-protection.

Reconnecting with the Authentic Self

By embracing somatic self-love, you are taking an active role in healing the impact of emotional neglect and rediscovering your authentic self. As you engage in practices that foster self-care, self-compassion, and self-awareness, you will begin to reconnect with your true identity and shed the layers of self-abdication. This process of self-discovery and reclamation can be both empowering and liberating, allowing you to embrace your uniqueness and celebrate your personal growth journey fully.

By engaging in practices prioritizing self-care, self-compassion, and self-awareness, you can reclaim your sense of self and cultivate a healthier, more nurturing relationship with yourself. Embrace somatic self-love as a means of healing and growth, and discover its power to transform your life.

A Somatic Self-Love Ritual for Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Fostering Self-Interest

This somatic self-love ritual is designed to help you connect with your body, rebuild self-esteem, and foster self-interest. By engaging in this practice regularly, you’ll begin to nurture a loving relationship with yourself and cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-worth.

Materials

• Comfortable clothing
• A quiet, comfortable space
• A timer or a gentle alarm
• A journal and pen
• A cozy blanket (optional)

Steps

1. Set the intention: Begin by setting an intention for your practice. This could be something as simple as “I am worthy of love and care” or “I choose to nurture my body and mind with kindness.” Take a moment to reflect on this intention and hold it in your heart.
2. Mindful movement: Choose a form of mindful movement that resonates with you, such as yoga, tai chi, or stretching. Begin with a few minutes of gentle movement, focusing on the sensations within your body as you move. Allow yourself to connect with your physicality and become aware of any areas of tension or discomfort. Remember to breathe deeply and move in a way that feels nourishing and supportive.
3. Progressive muscle relaxation: Lie down in a comfortable position, either on a yoga mat or a soft surface. Starting at your feet and working your way up your body, consciously tense and then relax each muscle group. Focus on the sensation of releasing tension from your body, and continue to breathe deeply as you progress through the muscle groups. Once you have finished, take a few moments to enjoy the feeling of relaxation in your body.
4. Gratitude and self-appreciation: Sit or lie down comfortably, and take a few deep breaths to center yourself. Reflect on three things about yourself that you are grateful for or appreciate. These could be physical attributes, talents, accomplishments, or qualities. Take a moment to acknowledge and honor these aspects of yourself, and allow yourself to feel gratitude for your unique gifts.
5. Journaling: Pick up your journal and pen, and write down the three things you identified in the previous step. Next, write a brief letter of encouragement to yourself, focusing on your strengths, accomplishments, and the qualities that make you uniquely you. This letter should be written as if it were coming from a loving, supportive friend. When you have finished, read the letter aloud to yourself.
6. Self-compassion meditation: Close your eyes and begin by taking a few deep breaths. Imagine yourself surrounded by a warm, loving light. This light represents self-compassion, understanding, and care. Allow this light to envelop you, filling you with a sense of peace and comfort. Silently repeat the following phrases to yourself:

• May I be happy.
• May I be healthy.
• May I be safe.
• May I live with ease.
• Feel free to adjust the phrases to better suit your needs or create your own affirmations. Continue repeating these phrases for a few minutes, allowing their meaning to sink in and resonate within you.

Closing: Gently bring your awareness back to your physical surroundings. Take a few deep breaths and slowly open your eyes. Thank yourself for taking the time to engage in this somatic self-love ritual, and remind yourself that you are deserving of love, care, and attention.

By engaging in this somatic self-love ritual regularly, you’ll begin to cultivate a deeper sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-interest. Embrace the power of somatic self-love and witness the transformative impact it can have on your well-being and personal growth journey.