Safe and Grounded: Somatic Self-Love Practice for Toxic Shame

Toxic shame can be a particularly insidious form of trauma, as it often develops slowly over time and can be challenging to identify and address. Somatic Self-Love can be a helpful tool for releasing shame and promoting greater self-acceptance and self-compassion.

Toxic shame refers to a pervasive and long-lasting feeling of shame that is deeply ingrained into our sense of self. It is characterized by a sense of worthlessness, self-blame, and self-criticism.

Toxic shame often develops in childhood, as a result of experiences such as abuse, neglect, or other forms of trauma. When children are repeatedly shamed or made to feel as though they are inherently flawed or unworthy, they may internalize these messages and develop a deep sense of shame that can be difficult to overcome.

Toxic shame can manifest in a variety of ways, including:

1. Self-criticism: those of us with toxic shame may be highly self-critical, constantly berating ourselves for perceived flaws or mistakes.
2. Fear of rejection: we may be afraid of expressing ourselves or being vulnerable, for fear of being rejected or judged.
3. Perfectionism: we might feel that we must be perfect to be accepted or loved, and may set impossibly high standards for ourselves.
4. Avoidance: we can avoid situations or experiences that trigger feelings of shame, such as social interactions or public speaking.
5. Depression and anxiety: Toxic shame can contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety.

It’s important to note that while shame is a normal and natural emotion, toxic shame is not. 

Many somatic healing techniques can help us reconnect with our bodies. One powerful technique is “grounding,” which involves using the senses to connect with the present moment and the body’s physical sensations.

Grounding to Give Toxic Shame to Mother Earth for Composting

1. Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit or stand. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
2. Begin by taking a few deep breaths, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
3. Bring your attention to the soles of your feet. Imagine that you are growing roots from the bottom of your feet, deep into the earth.
4. Visualize these roots extending deeper and deeper into the earth, anchoring you to the ground.
5. As you inhale, imagine that you are drawing up the toxic shame that you carry within you. As you exhale, imagine that you are releasing this shame down through your roots and giving it to Mother Earth for composting.
6. Continue to inhale deeply, drawing up the toxic shame from your body and exhaling it down through your roots, allowing Mother Earth to compost it and transform it into something new and fertile.
7. As you continue to breathe and release the toxic shame, allow yourself to feel a sense of lightness and relief. Imagine that you are making space within yourself for greater self-love and self-acceptance.
8. When you are ready, slowly bring your attention back to your body and your surroundings. Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to ground even more deeply into the earth.

By practicing this grounding exercise regularly, you can begin to release the toxic shame that you carry within you and cultivate a greater sense of self-love and self-acceptance. By giving your shame to Mother Earth for composting, you can transform these difficult emotions into something new and fertile, and make space for greater healing and growth in your life.